Has two right feet
Can footstand upside-down
Likes to come but can't get it up
Enjoys massive explosions
Paid $4 for a footlong
has gotten to the end of the rainbow, and wrestled the charms from the lucky demon
Watched helplessly as his laptop got the bluescreen of death
Is allergic to ('

')
May be the choice of all bearcow, but the bane of all manpigs